Tell Me Why Read online

  It was there in his eyes now—and I realized he spoke the truth. It had always been there. I’d just read it as brotherly affection.

  “Your old girlfriends must hate me.” I sighed and he laughed.

  “Some of them do—at least the ones who caught on to my feelings for you.” He continued the soft stroking of my face. “The real question is, do you hate me now that you know all this?”

  Shaking my head, I closed the small distance between us, pressing my lips firmly against his. “No, Caleb,” I whispered against them. “I love you more than ever.”

  His arms tightened around me and he placed several small kisses over my face. “I don’t deserve you, Anna, but I love you too. So much.” His eyes locked on mine. “So much,” he added again, before his lips descended to mine.

  Chapter Nine

  Anna-

  Shaking, I reached for the doorknob, chiding myself on being so nervous. Swinging the door open, it was Caleb standing on the porch, hands shoved in the pockets of his faded jeans, his black t-shirt, with multiple skulls and crossbones, stretching nicely across his broad shoulders.

  With a flick of his head, he tossed his hair out of his eyes and smiled—his nerves clearly showing through as he glanced past me and into the hallway. “Am I too early?” he asked, eyes reverting back to me.

  “No. You’re right on time.”

  He made no move to enter, continuing to stare at me. Dropping his voice, he whispered, “Have they said anything about me coming to breakfast? Do they think it’s weird?”

  I couldn’t help but grin as a small laugh escaped me. “Not a word. You’d think you’d been coming here to eat with us every Saturday morning.”

  He sighed heavily. “Well, that’s good, I guess. Are you ready to do this?” For some reason, it made me feel strangely comfortable knowing he was as nervous about this as I was.

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  Smiling, he stepped closer, his eyes drifting over me. “You look gorgeous.” He leaned forward and kissed my cheek as I snorted.

  “I’m in yoga pants and a tank top.”

  “You’re in black yoga pants and red tank top that says Rockstar. That’s hot . . . and amazingly accurate.” He lightly kissed my lips this time, before moving next to my ear. “And that tank accentuates your breasts very—”

  “Are you going to let the boy in or keep him at the door all day?” My mom’s voice interrupted him.

  Caleb quickly jerked away as she rounded the corner and I felt myself flush furiously over his comment. Stepping aside so he could enter, I watched as he easily greeted my mom. “Thanks for having me over, Melanie,” he said, giving her a hug.

  “We should’ve done it sooner. How’re you holding up, sweetheart?” My mom pushed back to stare into his eyes, concern evident on her face.

  “Okay, I guess. It hasn’t been easy.”

  Mom released him and gestured for us to follow her toward the kitchen. He turned and waited for me to close the door, and then followed me. Dad was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper. He folded it and stood to greet Caleb. “Great to see you again, son,” he said as they clapped each other on the back.

  “You too,” Caleb replied cordially. “It doesn’t happen enough these days.”

  “Yeah. It’s easy to let work, and life, get in the way,” Dad said, sitting back down. Caleb held a chair out for me, before sliding into the seat next to me. My mom sat next to Dad, having already laden the center of the table with waffles, fresh fruit, syrup, whipped cream, and orange juice. “How’s your family doing?” my father asked, picking up the plate of waffles and taking a couple, before passing it to me.

  “Honestly, I don’t really know. I’m afraid I’ve been a little absent lately. I’m planning on going over there after I leave here to make sure Danica is okay.”

  My parents didn’t even blink at the obvious slight against Hank in his comment. It was no secret that there was no love lost between Caleb and his dad.

  “I saw Danica at the grocery store the other day,” my mom announced, dishing food onto her plate. “She looked so fragile, as if the slightest thing might shatter her to pieces. She left before I caught her, so I took a casserole by for them, later on. We spoke for a couple of minutes, but it seemed like the visit made her nervous. Not that I blame her. Our hearts have been broken over Jessi. I can’t imagine what it must be like for your mom.”

  Caleb nodded, looking slightly sick. “I’ve been worried about her; but I’m afraid I got too wrapped up in my own grief. I haven’t been a very good son.”

  “Everybody needs space to grieve their own way,” Dad replied. “Don’t beat yourself up for taking time for yourself.”

  Caleb didn’t reply. Instead, he sat, staring at his plate, not seeing his food. It was obvious his heart was heavy and his mind was elsewhere. Unable to stand seeing the pain etched so plainly on his face, I placed my hand on his leg in a comforting gesture. He automatically covered it with his own, quickly looking up to give me a reassuring smile. The action didn’t go unnoticed by my parents, who exchanged knowing glances between themselves.

  “Is there something you kids want to tell us?” Dad asked.

  Caleb cleared his throat and squeezed my hand tighter. “Yes, sir. We’re dating now and I’m hoping you’ll both be okay with that. I’ve had feelings for Anna for quite a while, but I fought them off because of our age difference. I worried you wouldn’t approve. But after Jessi died . . . ,” He seemed to struggle for a moment. “Well, life is too short for us to not grab what we want most.”

  “We aren’t surprised, really,” Mom said, with a smile. “We’ve noticed a natural spark between the two of you ages ago. You both got along so easily. We wondered if it would ever naturally develop into something more.”

  “Actually, Melanie happened to see you two kissing on the stairs the day you went to spread Jessi’s ashes, so we knew something was going on. We’ve just been waiting for you to let us in on the secret.” Dad confessed. “So, tell us, what’s been going on?”

  “Nothing, really,” I said, smiling at Caleb. “We’ve both been too busy to see each other much; but I expect that will change after I graduate.”

  “Are you planning to stay here and attend University of Washington then?” Mom asked.

  “That’s the plan. I haven’t heard back from anywhere else I applied yet; but I want to be here with Caleb and the band. I’d miss them all too much.”

  Dad nodded, looking back and forth between us. “Anna, I know you’re a legal adult now, but please be careful that you remember to do things we’ve discussed in the past. I can’t stress how important it is.”

  Caleb looked confused, his brow furrowing as he glanced back at me. Heat flooded my face and I wished we were talking about anything else but this topic. “Already taken care of, Dad. He got tested yesterday.”

  A nervous chuckle escaped Caleb and he tried to cover it up by clearing his throat before taking another bite of food. His chewing couldn’t hide his amused smile.

  “Glad to hear it,” Dad replied, looking relieved. “So how are things going with the band?”

  “Awesome,” I replied, grateful for the change of subject. “We debuted a new song that Caleb wrote, last night. It’s called Something Beautiful and it’s wonderful. The people at the club really seemed to enjoy it.”

  My parents didn’t know I used a fake ID to get this gig. My dad would’ve never gone for it. They simply assumed things had been worked out with the owner of the bar and I let them think it. What they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them. They’d even come to watch a couple of times, which was impressive, since neither the music nor the club scene was their style.

  “That’s great!” Mom said genuinely. “It’s nice to know people are so receptive to your work, Caleb. You certainly have a gift.”

  He shook his head. “I’m just the backup singer and the lead guitarist. Anna’s the one who makes the words come to life. Her gift is what makes people connect to
it. Otherwise, it’s simply words.” Elbowing him in the side, he grunted as I narrowed my gaze at him. “What was that for?”

  “Please. You write the music. I merely sing it. It’s your gift that makes it what it is. Don’t sell yourself short.”

  “That song . . . it’s about you,” he replied; and suddenly there was only the two of us in the room.

  “Really?” My mouth went dry. Licking my lips, I waited for him to explain.

  “Like I said before, I’ve wanted you for a while now.” Lifting his hand, he stroked my cheek.

  I leaned into it. “Well, now you have me.”

  “Yeah. I’m feeling pretty lucky about that too.” He leaned closer and kissed me lightly.

  My dad cleared his throat, bringing us both back to reality and we separated. “So, I see you have a new tattoo on your arm, Caleb. When did you get that?”

  “After Jessi died.”

  “It’s a replica of something she drew once and kept framed in her room. He got the tattoo in memory of her,” I explained.

  “Well, that’s a lovely sentiment.” My mom agreed. “I’m sure she would’ve liked that. I know she loved having you as a brother. That girl practically worshipped the ground you walked on. You were so attentive to her and Anna, always watching out for both of them. We never worried when the girls were with you, because we knew you would protect them.”

  “This food is delicious,” Caleb said, redirecting the conversation. I could clearly see something was eating at him from the white knuckled way he was gripping his fork.

  “Thank you.” My mom beamed.

  “That’s my Melanie,” Dad boasted. “An amazing cook!”

  “I certainly hope so,” I added. “Seeing how she’s a chef and all. It might be kind of detrimental to her job if she wasn’t.” My mom actually worked at a popular Italian restaurant in Bellevue and, even though that was her specialty, she could cook any kind of cuisine well enough to make even the hardest critic’s mouth water.

  “There is that.” She laughed. “Glad my education can be enjoyed at the breakfast table as well.”

  “So are we.” Dad smiled and she laughed harder. I glanced at Caleb who was smiling slightly, but still seemed strangely distant and quiet.

  When breakfast was finished, I started to help clear the table; but Mom shooed me away, telling me to go with Caleb to check on Danica. Slipping my hand into his, I let him lead me outside to his Jeep.

  “Is something wrong?” I finally asked him, after we had driven the few blocks to his parent’s house without him responding to my conversation with more than one word replies. He turned the engine off and sat there, staring through the window at the house.

  “Just feeling bad about Jessi still. You know, the same old inner demons.” Glancing sideways at me, he gave me a wry smile. “And I feel like the worst son. I really don’t want to be here. If you hadn’t come with me, I don’t know if I’d have gone through with it. Every time I step foot in this house now, I feel sick. It’s not the same without Jessi here; and I can’t get the image of that blood soaked bathroom out of my head. I won’t go in there again. I can’t.”

  “Unfortunately, I understand exactly how you feel,” I replied. “I don’t want to go in there either.”

  Sighing heavily, he opened the door, swinging a leg out. “Is it bad that I simply wish Danica would leave my dad, just so I don’t have to come here anymore? It would make it better for everyone.”

  Grabbing his hand, I squeezed tightly. “No, it’s not bad. I’ve often wondered if Hank might’ve been part of the reason Jessi killed herself. I know they didn’t get along.”

  Caleb didn’t reply, instead he slid from my grasp to get out. He came around and opened my door, giving me his hand.

  The sound of a slamming screen door drew our attention to the porch. Hank stood there in a red and black plaid shirt, jeans, and boots, with a rifle in his hands, staring menacingly at us. A small shot of terror raced through me. What was he doing with a weapon? I thought convicts weren’t allowed to have firearms.

  “Going to the shooting range again?” Caleb asked casually, as we moved toward the house.

  Hank grunted noncommittally, his eyes never leaving me. It gave me the creeps. “What’re you doing here, Anna? Jessi isn’t here, remember?”

  My mouth dropped open at his rudeness.

  “Can you stop being a damn prick for one day in your life, Dad?” Caleb asked, the disgust clearly running through his voice. “Anna is here to check on Danica with me.”

  “What business does she have with Danica?” Hank growled and Caleb put his arm protectively around my shoulders.

  “Anna’s my girlfriend; so get used to seeing her around a lot more.”

  Hank snorted. “Can’t keep a real woman, so you decided to rob the cradle, did ya? They got names for stupid people like you—pedophile, for one. That’s the kind us real men like to throw in jail.”

  Caleb said nothing, but I couldn’t let the remark pass. Raising my chin, I stared at him squarely. “I’m eighteen and my parents completely support us.”

  “Yeah, well they’re stupid too, then.”

  Feeling my hackles rising, I opened my mouth to reply, but Caleb ushered me past him. “Don’t let him bait you,” he said, loud enough for Hank to hear, as he led me through the screen door. “Nothing you say will change his mind. It’s all a game he plays to keep everyone else as miserable as he is.”

  “Tell Danica to get off her ass and clean the damn house. It stinks,” Hank hollered after us. “And while you’re at it, get her to cook something too. I’m starving. She doesn’t listen to anyone but you these days.”

  The house was eerily quiet, and messy. I’d never seen it this way. Danica kept everything sparkling to avoid Hank’s temper. Caleb paused at the kitchen and I noticed my mom’s casserole dish, with half eaten lasagna still in it, sitting on the counter. The kitchen reeked of moldy food.

  “Something is wrong,” I said to Caleb as he cast a worried glance toward the stairs.

  “Do you want to stay here while I check things out?” he asked.

  “Not on your life.” Even though I heard Hank’s truck fire up and back out of the driveway, there was no way I wanted to be alone in this house. It felt . . . creepy.

  Grabbing my hand, Caleb led me up the stairs. “Mom?” he called nervously, but there was no reply. I noticed the door to the hallway bathroom was closed and I was glad. Still, the images of that room flooded my mind, flashing like something from a bad horror movie.

  Moving toward the closed door of the master suite, my heart pounded faster. I was afraid of what we might find. What if Hank had done something to her? What if he had killed her? Should we call the police instead? He could be escaping right now.

  “Ouch, Anna! Relax,” Caleb’s voice brought me back from the edge of insanity and I realized I was digging my nails into his skin.

  “Sorry,” I replied, staring at the angry red half moon indentations on the back of his hand. “I didn’t realize.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want to wait here?” he asked again, and I shook my head.

  “I don’t know what’s going on; but if it’s bad, I don’t want you to be alone when you find out.” Again, the helpless feeling I had when I found Jessi washed through me. I hated this house. I wished we never had to be in it again.

  Caleb raised his hand and knocked on the door. “Mom?” he called again. There was still no answer. Reaching for the knob, he turned it quietly, pushing the door silently open as we peered inside.

  The room was in shambles, bed unmade, pictures down or hanging crooked on the wall, clothes strewn across the floor. In the corner of the large room was Danica's thin frame, curled up in a rocking chair, her face turned toward the window, allowing us only a glimpse of her tangled hair.

  “Mom!” Caleb shouted running to her side.

  She glanced at him and smiled briefly. “Hello, sweet boy.” She reached to stroke his face and I was shocked a
t how thin she’d become since I’d last seen her. “Jessi’s not home from school, yet. Is she with you?”

  This was not good. This was so not good. How could Hank let this happen? Couldn’t he see how bad off she was?

  “Mom,” Caleb said, placing his hand over hers and stroking it gently. “What happened in here?”

  She glanced at the room and sighed heavily. “Oh, you know your dad. He gets mad at me for not doing something and he starts throwing things.”

  “Did he hurt you?” Caleb asked, barely controlled rage underlying his voice.

  Danica appeared shocked. “What would make you say such a thing? You know Hank would never hurt me. He loves me.” A tear escaped her red-rimmed eyes, trailing slowly down her cheek to hang from her chin before dropping onto her blue blouse. That was when I noticed the wet stains there. She’d been crying a lot.

  Glancing at me, she smiled. “Hello, Anna. Did Jessi walk home with you today? She has dance practice soon and she’s going to be late if she doesn’t hurry.”

  “Let me check.” I dragged Caleb across the room after me.

  “Why did you say that?” he asked, clearly confused.

  “Jessi hasn’t had after school dance practice since junior high, Caleb.” I looked past him to see Danica staring back out the window, again. “She’s not with it. She needs a doctor.”

  Caleb gritted his teeth. “I can’t believe my dad has just ignored this.”

  “Maybe she doesn’t talk to him. Maybe he doesn’t know.”

  Growling, Caleb headed back to where Danica was sitting. “Mom, let’s go for a ride, shall we? I think it would do you some good to get out of the house and get some fresh air. We can look for Jessi together. Okay?”

  Danica nodded, accepting Caleb’s outstretched hand and he helped her to her feet. She immediately collapsed against him, too weak to walk and the acrid smell of urine filled the air. I glanced at the rocker, noticing the giant wet spot on the cushion.

  “Danica, when was the last time you ate?” I asked, as Caleb scooped her into his arms and headed toward the door.

  “Last night,” she replied. “Your mom brought Jessi and me some dinner.”